Lean On Me

Blog Lean on Me

Bio

Raised in a large family in rural Utah, eager to learn, serve and share knowledge with others. I left my small community first as a missionary then as a education student followed by entry in the Army as a medic.. Twenty years in my life turned to ministering through education and healing of the soul.

I recently had an experience that made me reflect on the grief, mourning and loss unit. While attending training with the Army chaplains of Colorado we had time to reflect about how we would help our soldiers mourn the loss of their friends and be able to return to a mindset that would allow them to continue their mission to completion after a conflict ending in loss of life. It was good reflective training allowing for great conversation amongst peers to develop our bag of tools to work through loss and grief. The power of the training was that by observing each other take turns working through a scenario, we could then talk through the struggles and good of the outcome. The feedback and the failure in this setting create the space that prepares our minds and hearts for the times that we will apply the art of mourning with others.

Unfortunately, by the end of the day of training one of the chaplains I mentor and supervise received a call from her unit informing her that one of her soldiers was at the hospital and had just found out that her baby at eight months along was dead. They were going to admit her to the hospital so that she could deliver the stillborn child. What a shock for all. My chaplain found herself as a new mother of an eight month old now having to find ways to care for her soldier in her grief/shock/loss.

I offered every ounce of experience that I had with this heartbreaking challenge. My heart ached for the grieving mothers and the difficult time ahead. I offered to share this burden with her and go along on the visit to her soldier. In the end my chaplain chose to make the visit on her own.

The visit occurred the following day just before the mother was released from the hospital. I was reminded through this experience of my own pain and numbness following a miscarriage my wife and I experienced. Navigating through the grief is a process that takes time. The biggest lesson I was reminded of through this was brought out by a text that came to my phone not long after my chaplain finished her visit to her grieving soldier. The text said, “I appreciate your support sir. This was definitely harder than I expected, but I’m doing okay.” The prayers, advice, and support we can offer one another in difficult times is invaluable. Lean on each other. As Jesus invites us also in Matthew 11:29 to lean on Him, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jesus is yoked with us and pulls us through those difficult times. He also uses us to lift others as He would lift us if He were physically present. What a great work to be able to be the instrument that others lean on to lift their burdens.